nm

Many go to hell.

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Retired 3/31/2007@52
Investing style: Full time wuss.

That is scarey. Very scarey.

May as well charge an initiation fee and call it a "club."

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Rich
San Francisco Area
ESR'd March 2010. FIRE'd January 2011.

As if you didn't know..If the above message contains medical content, it's NOT intended as advice, and may not be accurate, applicable or sufficient. Don't rely on it for any purpose. Consult your own doctor for all medical advice.

What if nobody called?*

That was the major fear of an exec I know when we discussed retirement.* What if nobody cares?* If you haven't seen it, Jack Nicholson in* "About Schmidt" will give you an idea, especially when he returns to his workplace and the young whippersnapper who replaced him obviously isn't interested in his ideas or offers of help.*

I was wondering, how do doctors tolerate retirement?* They are valuable (as a rule) and they are busy.* I suspect they have a hard time retiring.

What if nobody called?

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Resist much. Obey Little. . . . Ed Abbey

Disclaimer: My Posts are for my amusement only.

Agree on "About Schimdt" - great Movie!

I have a Doc Friend of mine that is 77 - Still works very hard. He likes it. - He has cut down a bit and takes Wednesdays off.

In my experience doctors handle retirement very well if they retire early, uncommon as that is. The early ones (hope to be one in a couple of years) in general had to plan better, obviously are not completely reliant on the doctor-image for their sense of self-worth, and are by and large smart with lots of interests.

Saddest of all (a small minority, happily) are those who just keep on working well beyond their expiration date. These are the ones who come to the hospital doctors lounge for lunch with their former colleagues daily until they no longer recognize anyone. Over time their patients wander off sensing they are over the hill, and their only patients are the ones they have known for 40 years. Their colleagues excuse them from on-call duties -- not as a gesture of respect, but because they don't trust them with their patients. You get the picture.

But by and large, the group does well in retirement, just that they don't often do it early. It's a pretty good gig, and if you can do it appropriately as a source of both income and pleasure -- and have a trusted friend or two tell you when it's time to stop in case you miss the cues -- part-time is not a bad deal.

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Rich
San Francisco Area
ESR'd March 2010. FIRE'd January 2011.

As if you didn't know..If the above message contains medical content, it's NOT intended as advice, and may not be accurate, applicable or sufficient. Don't rely on it for any purpose. Consult your own doctor for all medical advice.

Their spouses came up with the idea and pay the rent...

I don't think Google's indexed the article yet. Do you happen to have a link?

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*

Co-author (with my daughter) of “Raising Your Money-Savvy Family For Next Generation Financial Independence.”
Author of the book written on E-R.org: "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement."
I don't spend much time here— please send a PM.

The Elephant Graveyard? That's really sad. If ever there was a group that needed to be told to get a life....

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There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it. - Andrew Jackson

Speaking of retired doctors, my father went back to work after 5 years of retirement from being in orthopedics. *These days, he works in a state office a couple of days a week reviewing medical charts for state benefits applications. *Low stress, decent money ($40 per chart, each of which takes 15-20 minutes to review) and gives him the opportunity to keep his mind sharp. *In fact, he has remarked on several occasions that the job requires him to relearn (or update his knowledge regarding) general practitioner skills dealing with the entire body. *Not a bad way to stimulate a 68-year old doctor's brain. *Plus, he had the state hire his "company", which allows him to depreciate his convertible, deduct gas and expenses, take vacations in exotic locales attend medical conferences on the company dime, and have somewhere to go for a couple of days a week on his own schedule.

P.S. *I was tempted to buy him a big red stamp saying "DENIED" in block letters for Father's Day....still might.

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He had one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it . . . It faced, or seemed to face, the whole external world for an instant and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. -- The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald

Thanks. I bet every major city has one of these suites!

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*

Co-author (with my daughter) of “Raising Your Money-Savvy Family For Next Generation Financial Independence.”
Author of the book written on E-R.org: "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement."
I don't spend much time here— please send a PM.

Boy - this is pretty sad:

What kind of retirement is that if your wife thinks the home is her domain and doesn't want you around during the day?!?!?

Sounds like they are still living separate lives. I guess patterns get established during working years and don't easily change.

I had a few fleeting concerns about being around my husband all day every day, but that has turned out to be one of the great blessings of retirement. We're a "team" and have a lot of hobbies in common, so it's great having a companion for most things.

Besides - when you need a break from your spouse, either one can go out and do something fun on their own. Returning to an "office" seems like an awfully dismal way to handle the need for alone time.

Audrey

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Retired since summer 1999.

Not sad or pathetic at all.

Ok, I am drawing a generality from one retired CEO I personally know. He does something similiar to this, he leases a space in an upper floor of a office building with a beautiful view (just west of Minneapolis actually).

He loves creating and running businesses. This is what he does for fun.

He spends a few hours most days down there running investments, networking and discussing new business ideas with friends. No tie and suit, but there it is.

I think everyone should be allowed to do what they enjoy.
Personally it would drive me nuts, but I do other things

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"We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.
(Ancient Indian Proverb)"

I’m guessing CEO bashing has become almost as popular on the board as taking shots at financial advisors and deferred annuity salesmen. (It’s a given that none of the above rank anywhere near the mudslinging at our fearless government representatives, especially the pres. ) I’m going to go against the grain and defend CEO’s…at least the two I was associated with in my 27 years of minimegacorp life. For almost 20 of those years I worked directly for the CEO or for one of their direct reports, close enough to have a reasonably good idea of what was going on in the corner office.

The company they led does $500-600M in annual sales and has approximately 2,500 employees. It was (and still is) a star performer, with a higher margin and longer record of sustained performance than any other company in the same industry. Even won the Malcolm Baldrige National Quality Award a few years back.

Both the CEO’s I’m referring to were fired after resisting the demands of company ownership to do things that were not in the best interests of the company in the long term. The first was fired after pushing back when a demand for short term profits would have delayed a critical project for years. The second was fired after not being as supportive as ownership would have liked in selling the company to a prospective buyer with the reputation of “saving a company to death” (think Chainsaw Al Dunlap). He knew what would happen to the company and wanted no part of it.

No, these guys were not perfect. There were a number of occasions I suspected they needed to loosen their neckties since it was obviously choking off the blood supply to their brain. (Heck, there were times I wanted to grab that necktie and pull so hard that the veins on their neck bulged, their faces turned beet red, they choked, gasped for air and begged for mercy!! Then I retired and I'm all better now. :) But they were honest, ethical people and I never saw them do anything I considered suspect. I saw them make some good and bad business decisions, but nothing ever appeared to be even remotely underhanded.

Both these CEO’s are retired now, and neither has a suite in the “Elephant Graveyard”. Of course, once I send them a link to the article, that could change.

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Numbers is hard

It's more common than I expected.

I've read several magazine articles where he & she both have separate home offices. *They spend their days apart, have lunch dates, and get together after their "workdays". *They even e-mail or phone each other! *They all claim that it's necessary to avoid a justifiable homicide maintain a healthy relationship.

When my parents-in-law moved to their rental home here, it was considered absolutely essential (for marital harmony) to screen in the lanai so that he'd have a "room of his own". *He spends most of his day there and she spends most of her time in the rest of the house. *She tends to rise early while he tends to stay up after midnight and sleep until 9 AM. *Sometimes she's eating lunch as he's working on breakfast. *

I don't get it either. *Spouse and I came from very similar beginnings and married as a team. *I've seen the "I lead, you follow" marriages, the "might as well be roomates instead of spouses" marriages, and not a few Clintons "Bickersons". *I guess it's fine if it works for them... but for five or six decades?!?

I'd be much more tolerant of the situation if I wasn't forever getting my male counterparts in trouble with their better halves. *"Whaddya mean, your husband cooks/cleans/picks up after himself/takes care of the kids/hauls his weight?!? *Harry, get over here and pay attention to this guy!!" *It's squashed several friendships and even ended a few marriages...

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*

Co-author (with my daughter) of “Raising Your Money-Savvy Family For Next Generation Financial Independence.”
Author of the book written on E-R.org: "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement."
I don't spend much time here— please send a PM.

I've gotten those looks from other guys across the table when their wife nudges them and says to the Princess "I see your husband doing the grocery shopping every week." She used to laugh and tell them I did most of the cooking as well, but the death threats were getting worrisome.

It's not that I'm all that in touch with my domestic side, but if we were going to eat what she thinks is nutritious I'd be suffering from some nutrient deficiency within a week. When I worked most of my meals were outside the house, now that I eat here all the time I'm just looking out for my health.

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There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it. - Andrew Jackson

I don't get it either Nords. *Married for first and only time 20 years ago at 40 to my best friend at the time. *She still is. *We both enjoyed our single status up until that time. *We both kept our cars longer than friends kept their #2s and #3s.* Both prayed then it wouldn't blow our long friendship. *It didn't. *She got hooked on my cooking and tendency not to mess up where I live. *I got hooked on her kind spirit and goofy jokes. *Both were VPs in high tech, rival companies. *Successful merger because we always checked our big biz egos at the front door. *I ERed 3 yrs ago. *She in two weeks. *Finally getting my buddy back full time so she can continue to trounce me in tennis and golf as always. *Guess I'm damned lucky and blessed. *But sounds like I'm not the only one.

So far no dead friendships or marriages, but theres definitely stress. "Hey...he does all this stuff and you dont!"..."But he doesnt have a job!"..."His wife told me how much money he makes from his "non-job" and its way more than you make!"



As far as the original topic...i'm not sure if its a comfort zone problem or an unwillingness/inability to effect change when its been thrust upon you. Seems that rather than change their relationships with their families, they're recreating the zones and boundaries that existed before they retired and retaining the social structures they're comfortable with and their families have gotten used to.

Not that theres anything wrong with that. Seems like there should be more than that though...

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Be fearful when others are greedy, and greedy when others are fearful. Just another form of "buy low, sell high" for those who have trouble with things. This rule is not universal. Do not buy a 1973 Pinto because everyone else is afraid of it.