Are Older People Aware of Their Cognitive Decline?

Badger said:
What does a person do who is well into their 70s, finding they are slowly declining in their mental abilities, and have no family left or close friends to help with their finances or everyday activities. I bet there are many who eventually find themselves in this quandary.
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This is scary, and you know lots of folks are in this category.
 
Ronstar said:
95 yo MIL thinks she is balancing her checkbook. But she only enters the checks she writes. She doesn't enter automatic deposits or automatic payments that DW has set up. MIL can look at her check register for hours and not understand why her balance doesn't match the bank statement. But she is happy that the bank statement has a higher balance than what she calculates.

Recently she quit doing the math to compute the balance. I think she forgot how to do the math. (DW has the real check register - DW gave MIL a copy to play with)
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TheWizard said:
I quit balancing my checkbook maybe twenty years ago or more. At 74, I think I'm still 100% cognitive, but who really knows?
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Dtail said:
Haha. I don't balance my checkbook either but only write ~6 checks a year.
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I quit balancing my checkbook at least 30 years ago, probably even longer. At that time, I was paying all my bills by check. Now I only write one or two checks a month. I simply "scan" the "cleared" checks once a month to be sure it's checks I've written and "eyeball" the balance. If the balance looks "about right", I move on.
 
Badger said:
What does a person do who is well into their 70s, finding they are slowly declining in their mental abilities, and have no family left or close friends to help with their finances or everyday activities. I bet there are many who eventually find themselves in this quandary.
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I also would guess there are many that fall into this scenario. I also would think that things get taken care of one way or another. A very good question and I would guess the state will go through the process.
 
Badger said:
What does a person do who is well into their 70s, finding they are slowly declining in their mental abilities, and have no family left or close friends to help with their finances or everyday activities. I bet there are many who eventually find themselves in this quandary.
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Good question !

Automate bill payment would be important along with auto pay of credit cards (Chase does this and I've found it really convenient while traveling). Can still dispute any charge so no danger.

I've seen, really old folks need their login written down on paper, as they often forget it for the once a month website, but of course it would have to placed somewhere not visible to visitors.

Other than that, I'm all ears.
 
rodi said:
I remember when @Nords was posting about his father's dementia, financial stuff, conservatorship process. One of the things he spotted, after the fact, was that his dad had bought several bad annuities. The salesperson knew his dad was in decline, and preyed on him.

.....
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I took over my FIL finances (with his consent and supervision) and this is what I also discovered.

The helpful and fully trusted bank steered him to an inhouse FA (salesperson) who sold him a 10 year locked in annuity (fee for early withdrawal), when FIL was 82 yrs old. :banghead:
 
Sunset said:
I've seen, really old folks need their login written down on paper, as they often forget it for the once a month website, but of course it would have to placed somewhere not visible to visitors.

Other than that, I'm all ears.
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I just checked and counted mine. I have 64 actively/routinely used ID's/PW's and another 57 that I occasionally use but are active ID's/PW's. Passwords vary in length from 8 to 15 characters. They are all written down (well on a spreadsheet) No way, I could remember many/any of those.
 
Dtail said:
Haha. I don't balance my checkbook either but only write ~6 checks a year.
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Maybe a few more paper checks for me, but that's the least of it.
I have three direct deposits to checking each month and numerous direct debits for CC payments, gasoline purchases, Vanguard transfers, etc.

But I log into my checking account on my smartphone a few times a week to see where things stand. And I generally trust my credit union to do arithmetic properly...
 
2017ish said:
We were fortunate with DW's dad. In hindsight, he became aware of his decline and engaged a trust company to handle his and his spouse's (MIL) portfolios. He never said anything to anyone--not even his wife, but as he entered his late 80s, he was no longer volunteering to do taxes for other seniors, and had no involvement in their investments. (And, the Trust company was in a position to watch all of their cashflows.)

Bottom line, when his kids determined that they had to step in, it was quite manageable.

DW and I are already starting to pay close attention to these issues, even though we are neither 65 yet ...
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I like the idea of a trust company. How does one find such a company? And how do they get paid?
 
bmcgonig said:
I like the idea of a trust company. How does one find such a company? And how do they get paid?
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In-laws went with a regional trust_co/bank with a local office, which has been very comfortable for M-I-L after she was widowed at age 90 (she had essentially nothing to do with family finances/investing once he came back from Vietnam). Even though DW and her sibs track everything closely, Mom likes it when the "lady from the bank" drops by for a visit and a quick update on the portfolio. Also makes it easy for her to direct gifts to grandchildren and children twice a year....

Compensation is based on percentage of assets under management, with the percentage take decreasing as the pile gets bigger. (I believe the starting rate is at, or slightly above, 1% for the first couple of million.) More expensive than I'd like if it were my money, but I keep my nose out of it--and recognize that you are getting a fiduciary duty with that payment.
 
TheWizard said:
But I log into my checking account on my smartphone a few times a week to see where things stand. And I generally trust my credit union to do arithmetic properly...
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Back when I managed the checkbook, there were three times when the bank paid the wrong amount on a check. I'm less trusting than you are.
 
I have the Power of Attorney and am Executor of surviving parents trust. Yes Mom knows she has a significant cognitive decrease. Although I could easily manage the trust and fund her care without input, I still simply explain and discuss with her in a basic way any significant financial decisions.

Our discussion last week was about a home that she (her trust) still owns and I have rented out. I recommended selling it since renters moved at the end of the lease and it is now vacant. After a minute of a blank stare she says … sell it, renting is a pain in the A$$. We both laughed!

She is still with us and able to participate in major decisions. Will continue to engage her in decision-making as long as possible.
 
Car-Guy said:
I just checked and counted mine. I have 64 actively/routinely used ID's/PW's and another 57 that I occasionally use but are active ID's/PW's. Passwords vary in length from 8 to 15 characters. They are all written down (well on a spreadsheet) No way, I could remember many/any of those.
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Why did you need to put your passwords into a spreadsheet instead of just listing them?
 
Palmtree said:
. One problem is I don't sleep as soundly as I used to, often awake for hours in the middle if the night.
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That is called "getting old." Get up and read a book for an hour instead of lying in bed awake.

Another annoyance is having to get up a couple of times in the middle of the night to pee.
 
Lewis Clark said:
Back when I managed the checkbook, there were three times when the bank paid the wrong amount on a check. I'm less trusting than you are.
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Back in the 90s when we started using Quicken we used it to track and reconcile transactions on all accounts. Basically they give you a ledger for each account including credit cards and Quicken automatically tracks the balance.

I reconcile each monthly statement against my Quicken entries.

Haven’t run into the wrong amount paid on a check situation. At this point we only write 1 or 2 checks a year. All bills are handled through bank billlpay or credit card charge. Regularly scheduled ones are automatically generated as scheduled payments by Quicken.
 
I had a little moment over the weekend, that got me thinking about getting older. Saturday morning, I drove the truck to Aldi. When I got home, I parked in front of the garage, windows all the way down, and unloaded it. Got busy doing something else, and forgot about the truck. I didn't go anywhere else during the day, but was in and out of the house a lot. Every time I saw the truck, I kept thinking, I gotta put it in the garage, but then would get distracted with something else. And in the evening, I was in the pool with some friends, truck in plain view, and I was thinking "damn, I still gotta put that thing in the garage," but then it slipped my mind.

Totally forgot about it, and it sat out overnight, windows down. No big deal, as there was no rain, and little crime. I could probably leave it running overnight with a sign that says "Free to Good Home" and it would be there in the morning. But still, it bugged me, as that's not something I'd normally do.

I could excuse it if I got drunk overnight, or was really exhausted from strenuous yardwork or something, but neither one applied here. It just slipped my mind. I guess those little slips of the mind do pop up from time to time, with everyone. But, it did get me thinking...was it just a momentary slip of the mind, or is my mind really slipping?
 
I get distracted throughout the day and forget where I left something in the house or garage. It happens frequently and is frustrating having to waste time searching. Maybe it is due to a mild dementia but I tend to think it is because I am juggling paying bills, taking care of the cars, PT, grocery shopping, cooking, feeding the animals, monitoring investments, taking care of appointments, etc, etc, etc.
 
Badger said:
I get distracted throughout the day and forget where I left something in the house or garage. It happens frequently and is frustrating having to waste time searching. Maybe it is due to a mild dementia but I tend to think it is because I am juggling paying bills, taking care of the cars, PT, grocery shopping, cooking, feeding the animals, monitoring investments, taking care of appointments, etc, etc, etc.
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I have the same problem. I constantly misplace/lose things and spend a lot of time looking for them. Regardless of how hard I try not to misplace/ lose stuff. And I'll end up going to the hardware store several times a day to get a single item and forget to get stuff that I needed yesterday. Frustrating how much time I'm wasting.

Maybe I need to make lists.
 
Well I don't forget appointments, I don't misplace things, I don't forget to pay bills, I diligently/accurately manage my portfolio, etc. However, I'll often pickup my laptop to check on "something" and by the time I open my browser, I'll forget what it was I was going to check on. :facepalm: It will usually "come back to me" in a few minutes but!:nonono:
 
Going to the kitchen to get something......and when you get there you can't remember what you were going to get.

We all have these moments. In the neighborhood we jokingly call it "oldtimer'z disease."
 
Car-Guy said:
Well I don't forget appointments, I don't misplace things, I don't forget to pay bills, I diligently/accurately manage my portfolio, etc. However, I'll often pickup my laptop to check on "something" and by the time I open my browser, I'll forget what it was I was going to check on. :facepalm: It will usually "come back to me" in a few minutes but!:nonono:
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I used to do that with encyclopedias when I was a teenager. I would open one of the books to find some kind of information, and got distracted by other things I saw along the way. Eventually I forgot what I was initially looking for.

Encyclopedias - The internet of the 70's. :)

Fun fact. My mom still has that encyclopedia set on her bookshelf in assisted living.
 
Badger said:
I get distracted throughout the day and forget where I left something in the house or garage. It happens frequently and is frustrating having to waste time searching. Maybe it is due to a mild dementia but I tend to think it is because I am juggling paying bills, taking care of the cars, PT, grocery shopping, cooking, feeding the animals, monitoring investments, taking care of appointments, etc, etc, etc.
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One concerning example for me is not being able to remember the name of an actor or something in a movie. I'm talking major stars like Tom Hanks who I obviously know. But I'll sometimes sit through an entire movie unable to recall the actors name. Then it usually pops in my head a couple hours later when I don't need to know anymore.

Memory is weird. The memories are obviously up in my brain somewhere, as they'll pop up unexpectedly years later. If only I could retrieve every thing I have learned in my life. But, use it or lose it I guess...
 
Ronstar said:
I have the same problem. I constantly misplace/lose things and spend a lot of time looking for them. Regardless of how hard I try not to misplace/ lose stuff. And I'll end up going to the hardware store several times a day to get a single item and forget to get stuff that I needed yesterday. Frustrating how much time I'm wasting.

Maybe I need to make lists.
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Yes, we live by lists shared on our iPhones.
 
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