I'm depressed but six months out and getting excited!

[rmcelwee]

Why am I writing this? I wrote a post when I hit one year out and so it just seemed normal to do one at six months out. I figured it would serve as a little pick-me-up. I definitely need one.

So, I came home after work the other day and had a little breakdown. The stress at work is really taking a toll on me but I am getting really close and know that it will be over soon. I've got six months left (60-70 working days) and we are moving forward on building our dream home/farm in the mountains of Tennessee. I guess lots of exciting stuff in which to look forward.

Plans:
- Secure the loan for my new property (6.5hr drive from here).
- Sell my current house.
- Live in a new single wide trailer until house is built then sell the trailer.
- Buy a tractor shed and tractor with attachments to use on the 30 acres.

We are using some design software to create a barndominium with a living space, a double car garage, a clean workshop (computer lab, soldering, etc), and a dirty workshop (sawdust, welding dust, etc). Our property is about 25 minutes from town and very quiet. It is going to be a big lifestyle change for us.

There will probably be some replies saying to "leave now" but it really isn't an option for me. I do not want to leave until I turn 55 and even though I could easily do it financially, there is a cost to leaving now that I don't want to have ($140,000 in lost retirement healthcare). I know I would always regret not staying these last few months. I worked hard for that $140K and I am going to get it.

I am finding it very hard to not tell my bosses that I am leaving. Kind of a guilty feeling. They called me into the back office the other day and I thought they were going to confront me on my secret (a few people know). Nope, it was just to raise hell with me. Third time in the past month! It will be nice to tell them where to stick it. I might spring it to them in a couple of weeks when my land loan has been approved. At that point there is no turning back for me. I have 32 years with the company. There is another guy (we are the most senior guys there) who has been there six months longer than I. He already told them he was leaving. Both of us will leave within a week of each other so that should be fun. Most of the other guys have been there less than 10 years so the company may struggle a bit.

Hmmm, writing this didn't really make me feel better. But I know what will... Six months and counting!

 

[38Chevy454]

Eyes on the prize, as the saying goes. Yes it is tough to hold that knowledge inside, but let it be the motivation to push on. Don't let the mgmt botch session get to you, just act like you care and then go back to your job. The bitch session is probably them getting pressure from above and the sh!t rolls downhill.


In addition, the other life activities you have going on are contributing to your overall stress level. Different than job stress, but stress none the less. So tough it out at work, keep up appearances and do your job knowing that the end is near. That light at the end of the tunnel will get brighter.

 

[Luvtoride]

rmc, I'm sorry to hear the stress/ malaise you're dealing with over this. I'm just curious...how/when do others advise their bosses/ companies that they are leaving? My initial impression is that I would give my employer as much notice as possible, especially being there 32 years (I'm approaching 32 years with my company in October). This would help with their succession planning and transition, which I would think would be the least a long term employee would do.

rmc, you definitely have alot to look forward to with your building and relocation plans. I would think that would lift your spirits and outlook albeit its going to be a lot of work. I hope you are able to view the awesome bright side of your position and enjoy these next 6 months until retirement. Best of luck!

 

[intent]

I thought the work stress would get easier to deal with the closer I got to my give notice date, but didn't find that to be the case in reality. If anything, I felt a bit more stressed because I was hiding my intentions. I still had to pretend that I cared well past the point where I actually cared any longer and that was stressful. And it just wasn't in me to perform at a lower level - felt like I'd be letting my co-workers down - so there wasn't any stress relief opportunity from that aspect.

What did help me though was to begin dipping my toes into activities I planned to do more of once I quit working. I focused on improving my workout routine, planning my strategy to improve my tennis ... that sort of thing.

But for me at least, I didn't really find the stress reduce until the day I gave my notice.

 

[mpeirce]

Take lots of vacation days?

Maybe even a medical leave?

 

[rmcelwee]

If anything, I felt a bit more stressed because I was hiding my intentions.

But for me at least, I didn't really find the stress reduce until the day I gave my notice.

This sounds like what I am going through. I'm wondering if letting the cat out of the bag will reduce my stress as well. Thanks for sharing your experience!


The other 32 year guy said he was going to give a one year notice. He said it was the right thing to do. I begged him not to do that but he did it anyway. They "threatened" to move him to another job (something he didn't want) but they have so far been unable to do it due to the serious employee/experience shortage we are going through.

 

[rmcelwee]

Take lots of vacation days?

Maybe even a medical leave?

Only working 59 days in six months. Yep, lots of vacation in there.

 

[easysurfer]

Find a good countdown timer to count down the days.

I remember creating a spreadsheet to that for me. On days of stress, I'd check just to make sure the time until FIRE was going down and not up .

The time will roll by sooner than you may think.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

I am finding it very hard to not tell my bosses that I am leaving. Kind of a guilty feeling. They called me into the back office the other day and I thought they were going to confront me on my secret (a few people know). Nope, it was just to raise hell with me. Third time in the past month! It will be nice to tell them where to stick it. I might spring it to them in a couple of weeks when my land loan has been approved. At that point there is no turning back for me. I have 32 years with the company. There is another guy (we are the most senior guys there) who has been there six months longer than I. He already told them he was leaving. Both of us will leave within a week of each other so that should be fun. Most of the other guys have been there less than 10 years so the company may struggle a bit.

Meh. Suppose you were on your death bed. Would they come visit? Would they help out with things around your home? Would they bring over a casserole? My guess is NO. Companies have very (or NO) little allegiance with their employees these days, so don't feel guilty. You put in your time, you DESERVE your retirement.

And don't worry...those last 60-70 days will go by pretty quick. I know it sure did for me, even though I thought they would crawl.

Oh, and CONGRATS!!! Sounds like you have something to "retire to" which many people struggle with. I think you will do just fine.

 

[street]

Meh. Suppose you were on your death bed. Would they come visit? Would the help out with things around you home? Would they bring over a casserole? My guess is NO. Companies have very (or NO) little allegiance with their employees these days, so don't feel guilty. You put in your time, you DESERVE your retirement.

And don't worry...those last 60-70 days will go by pretty quick. I know it sure did for me, even though I thought they would crawl.

Oh, and CONGRATS!!! Sounds like you have something to "retire to" which many people struggle with. I think you will do just fine.

So, true!!!

 

[rmcelwee]

Oh, and CONGRATS!!! Sounds like you have something to "retire to" which many people struggle with. I think you will do just fine.

Yep, working on the new barndominium is going to keep me busy...

 

[Bigdawg]

Yep, working on the new barndominium is going to keep me busy...

Oh man! That looks awesome. What kind of tractor are looking at? John Deere, Massey Ferguson, Kubota...? Please, please, keep us posted with updates. Inquiring minds want to know. Or at least I do. LOL

 

[RobbieB]

I'd consider putting the "barn" part as a separate building incorporate tractor shed and dirty shop together.

 

[perez99]

Similar feelings here. Planning to leave at year-end. Intent to announce 90 days out (to help in transition)
Stress is sometimes too much, but recognize that a lot of that is because I see the exit coming soon and get somewhat impatient

 

[rmcelwee]

Oh man! That looks awesome. What kind of tractor are looking at? John Deere, Massey Ferguson, Kubota...? Please, please, keep us posted with updates. Inquiring minds want to know. Or at least I do. LOL

My wife wants a Kubota (because it is orange and pretty). Yeah, might just start a thread on all this stuff at some point. Looking for something in the 30HP range I think. We will have 30 acres with 15 of those cleared.

Blue tractor shed, red house, green single wide. Facing that direction because of the nice view of the "mountains" past our property. Red boxes are acres. Light brown area is the highest point.

 

[Out of Steam]

I was very fortunate that my job took a good turn in my last year there. It helped a lot to end that way.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

Yep, working on the new barndominium is going to keep me busy...

That is awesome. But that dirty side is way too small for me.

 

[Unpaintedhuffhines]

Definitely get a countdown timer. I started mine about a year out, and now it's (GASP) only 30 days away. I also felt a little guilty when my manager recently talked to me about the fun challenges that we were going to have over the next 10 months. Back of my mind I was thinking "well, those will be your challenges, not mine." One thing I have found - they will be fine without you.

I have found myself daydreaming when I get the negative stuff from coworkers or bosses. "what are the scoring rules for Pickleball again?" or "will I go to the grocery store on Mondays or Tuesdays?"

I plan on giving about two weeks notice, but if they want a bit more, I'll be flexible (but not six months).

Eyes on the prize as others have said. Get that land loan. Get the healthcare benefit. You got this!

 

[FI_RElater]

...keep your lips sealed

This sounds like what I am going through. I'm wondering if letting the cat out of the bag will reduce my stress as well. Thanks for sharing your experience!


The other 32 year guy said he was going to give a one year notice. He said it was the right thing to do. I begged him not to do that but he did it anyway. They "threatened" to move him to another job (something he didn't want) but they have so far been unable to do it due to the serious employee/experience shortage we are going through.

I think that gives you the info you need...?
DON'T give any notice beyond what is required...
at most 45-60 days...but if it were me, given the above, then they'd get one month notice ?
(and you wouldn't need the extra stress if they were gonna try the same $hi¥ with you)

{I did give about two months notice, but I was far more secure, and they needed to keep up...and like your case, the newbies didn't have enough experience to keep the stuff going...and I didn't take any $h¡¥ during my last days either }

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

I'd consider putting the "barn" part as a separate building incorporate tractor shed and dirty shop together.

Slightly off the subject but when we were considering building a home, my "dream" home would have been something in a fly-in community. I came across one for sale where the hangar portion WAS the living room and kitchen...the ultimate "open" living concept!

My DW was not nearly impressed and didn't think that the smell of "old airplanes" in the house would be OK. I think she's crazy.

Here is an example...I mean, come on...what's NOT to love about this?!?

 

[street]

Man, that would work for me if aviation was my passion. Woman just don't get it!!! Lol

 

[RobbieB]

Yeah, mine doesn't want my motorcycle in the living room like it was before we got married.

The pain!

 

[ivinsfan]

I'd consider putting the "barn" part as a separate building incorporate tractor shed and dirty shop together.

Oh no they have to be one building! These things are going gangbusters out here in the country...


No recently divorced DN is hard at work building his own as we speak...

 

[Bamaman]

I'm actually excited for you. You've executed a long term plan for life, and you're close to thumbing your nose to "those in charge." And they'll appreciate you after you (and your co-worker) have gone.

You have not said where you're moving in the State of Franklin (NE TN), but the entire region is such a secret to the outside world. It's a place of extreme beauty, where people are funny and jovial--and like a place lost in time.

Jonesborough has one of the finest tractor dealers you'll ever find--West Hills Tractor. Do yourself a favor and deal with the best--Tim and Mark Foster. They sell Case IH & New Holland tractors which are a cut above the competition in the 30 hp class. The Fosters have sold a bunch of backhoes and skidsteer loaders, and they also know all the area contractors if you need one.

Have you considered buying a used fifth wheel camper with slides? If you intend to sell it after 6 months or so, they'd sell much quicker and for a better price than a mobile home. They're also easier to move and the initial setup would be relatively simple.

 

[pacergal]

OP--
My boss knew a year in advance, didn't "formally" tell HR until 3 months. I also stayed for specific retirement benefits that equalled big $$$. It was worth it to me.
I was hoping my successor would be hired before I left, given the time frame, so I could help train. But Nope! Then, it wasn't my problem. I did make myself available on call to go back and train, several months after retirement. But you will be long gone to your wonderful retirement house!! Good for you.

I also found a retirement countdown helpful, every day done is one more closer!
I used up all of my vacation and sick time (did multiple medical/dental checkups, staycations to plan retirement and practice "what will I do all day"--it was fun!)--left with only 2 hours on the books--LOL.

Perhaps since the other guy has given his notice, your boss is coming down hard on you as he is having trouble with replacement. It sounds like stress is a problem whether you give notice or not, so I say do what you want to do. If giving notice will help you start to back off on projects and not get emotionally involved, then do it.

Enjoy the good stress of looking forward to your new house and planning the move/building/etc.
Try to be like a duck, letting water (stress) roll off you back from work as much as you can.
6 months will pass, and you will have your retirement lifetime to enjoy!