The "What are you doing now" question

[ER Eddie]

Yeah, it depends on how the question is asked. Usually it's just small talk, so I give a small-talk level answer: "what I feel like," then add a few details (read, write, watch YT, hang out with my dog). If they want to know more, they can pick up on any of those cues and ask. Most don't. Most people aren't that interested in others' lives, they're interested in their own.

I am five years into retirement now. I got the question a lot at first - probably because I was talking about "just being retired," and so that spurred them to ask, but I don't get the question much anymore.

 

[conwy]

Maybe I'm just lucky to have supportive family & friends but this has hardly ever been asked.

But even if it was, I actually have a huge amount of personal projects and ambitions that don't fit into typical 9-5 paid employment such as:

• Reading on a wide range of topics
• University study – math, design, computer science
• Personal projects – blogging, books, software
• Exercise and fitness goals
• Diet goals
• Minimalism goals
• Exploring the whole world (or my small part of it)

I find it surprising that there is a perception that one would have "nothing to do" after early retirement, as if wage slavery is the only path to meaning in life. Life is so much richer than salaried employment!

 

[Montecfo]

I agree this can cause some angst but we must all admit it is a high quality problem.

Short and truest answer is "whatever I want". But if people are seriously curious I might say more about specific things we do.

The harder one I think is the "what do you do?" which can be awkward when we are younger than most and the person asking cannot imagine not having to work.

For people I am just meeting I might say I am on extended leave from a career as (whatever your career was). This can provide an answer and allow people to latch onto whichever element they wish.

 

[doneat54]

None of my close friends who know me well ever asked "What are you going to do?". Retired at 54, 7+ years ago and have never been busier. Lost 24 lbs the first year I was retired and (as a cancer survivor) thought something was wrong. Just active, busy and on my feet most of the day. According to my FitBit, I walk an average of 4 miles a day.

I love the answer others have posted. What do I do?

Whatever the hell I want to.

 

[CO-guy]

We volunteer at a big local charity event every Memorial Day weekend and I was reminded of this topic. All weekend, literally dozens of people that had heard I left my former employer came up and asked, "So what are you going to do now?"

It gave me lots of practice in crafting my message:
(*perplexed look) "Continue to run my own business? But with more time to do whatever else I want."

 

[kgtest]

Can't wait to FIRE and buy time back. I am on track for a FIRE @50 goal. I may move that post to 52 though as I want to pay my home off and that's when that note will expire.

With 3 little kids, I have no time but I do the best and try and stay involved. Not much sitting around on the couch these days for us.

 

[jollystomper]

DW and I will, within the next few weeks, be going to a reunion of folks we graduated from college with. We are sure to get that question many times over. My response has pretty much never changed from when I retired about 6 years ago: "I am doing whatever I choose, when I choose, for as long as I can stay healthy". If they further ask "like what?" I will tell them. If for some reason they feel I should be more "productive", I will respond with "make me an offer" .

I do not someone should feel "guilty" about retirement. Unless you stole someone's life, identity and/or assets to retire, there is no need to. Of course, there do seem to be an increasing segment who want to put a "guilt trip" on others for whatever reason (like a few relatives who think our retirement should fund their wants)... but, 'nuff said .

 

[Dtail]

DW and I will, within the next few weeks, be going to a reunion of folks we graduated from college with. We are sure to get that question many times over. My response has pretty much never changed from when I retired about 6 years ago: "I am doing whatever I choose, when I choose, for as long as I can stay healthy". If they further ask "like what?" I will tell them. If for some reason they feel I should be more "productive", I will respond with "make me an offer" .

I do not someone should feel "guilty" about retirement. Unless you stole someone's life, identity and/or assets to retire, there is no need to. Of course, there do seem to be an increasing segment who want to put a "guilt trip" on others for whatever reason (like a few relatives who think our retirement should fund their wants)... but, 'nuff said .

From a family type perspective, it can be as simple as just laziness and not willing to put in the work.
From an outside perspective, it drums up something I have mentioned many times before - jealousy.

 

[cyber888]

I'm twenty years in. I go on international bike tours every year. Did the Grand Canyon rafting two years ago and Antarctica last year. I year ago, I began an engaging fascination with deep space astrophotography. Today, I was querying an AI large language model on how it stores and processes information. There are endless things to do.

nice pic. Looks like a UFO

 

[cyber888]

My wife and I are 7 months into ... whatever we or people want to call what we're doing -- retirement, semiretirement, on sabbatical, FIRE. When we took a voluntary buyout from our employer (we worked at the same place), we hadn't used the R word, but others started using it for us! We are in our low 50s. So the question is, how did y'all face that question we've been getting endlessly, "What are you doing now?" It's more loaded for me than I might have thought. (My wife is less worried about it.) I can answer that I'm taking a course in preparation for possible part-time or seasonal work later, tending to our lives, tending to extended family, getting involved locally, volunteering. But the whole question, especially from peers, suggests we must be seeking new work or purpose. I still have some guilt about that -- and guilt about discussing our nicer lifestyle with peers who still are toiling. You?

I retired 10 months ago, so we're kind of in the same boat. I did change my LInkedn status to Retired. A friend I knew a few years back asked 'Why'. And I said so I can do what I want. She asked 'where will you live'. I said "the same house, my Lifestyle has not changed, and I will live the same way, but travel and have more freedom."

 

[athena53]

Like an earlier poster, I'm very involved with my church and Diocese as well as the Garden Club. My first grandchild was born a month before I ER'd at 61. Not a deciding factor- toxic politics in the workplace were my motivation- but it certainly shifted priorities.

Few people ask anymore but my pat answer is "volunteer work, buying plane tickets and spoiling my grandchildren".