I've seen several second marriages fail.
The most common cause was one spouse putting their children and grandchildren before their marriage. Either their time or money, their kids came first.
One of my old work buddies (we have been retired for some time now) fairly recently lost his wife. This was his second spouse.
An observation...My friend's original wife of about 35 years passed away of cancer around 8 years ago. She was the love of his life and they had 3 kids together (now adults). About 2 years after her death my friend remarried. That spouse died after about 3 years...of pancreatic cancer. Look forward another couple years...and on Facebook a week ago I noticed he just got married again. I am not making this stuff up.
I was telling this to a lady friend and she said, "Women mourn and men replace". That was a new one on me.
Once bitten, twice shy.I read a newspaper article many years ago from some expert (counselor or psychologist) addressing remarriage. It seems counterintuitive to many but the expert stated that widows and widowers that had great marriages usually quickly remarried. People in bad marriages were the ones that were reluctant to marry again. That was over 40 years ago and it seemed to bear out for all of my relatives, friends and acquaintances that lost a spouse.
On the other side of that coin, one of my neighbors has been through five husbands. Never divorced; they just kept dying on her. She's a very nice person, so it's understandable that she attracted them, but she says she is definitely done with that now.
I read a newspaper article many years ago from some expert (counselor or psychologist) addressing remarriage. It seems counterintuitive to many but the expert stated that widows and widowers that had great marriages usually quickly remarried. People in bad marriages were the ones that were reluctant to marry again. That was over 40 years ago and it seemed to bear out for all of my relatives, friends and acquaintances that lost a spouse.
This thread makes me sad and glad. Everyone has to make their own choices. I feel fortunate to be on DW1 50 years this year. I play her this song every year.
Gary IMO it's a total crap shoot if you end up with a partner after a divorce or death.
I understand your experience. We are from a rural midwest farming community. DW and I started dating when we were 16, we will celebrate our 44th anniversary this August, we have been through just about everything life can throw at us, TOGETHER. We have worked, traveled , moved, raised kids, buried loved ones, and helped each other through success and failures, I pray she outlives me because I would be hopeless, miserable, and lost without her.
If you asked me today I'd say my ideal next relationship would be if i lived in a duplex and they were next door LOL. Get my own space mostly but no travel issues to see them.
Gary IMO it's a total crap shoot if you end up with a partner after a divorce or death.
Read somewhere and this has always kind of stuck in my mind for some reason. Fifty to sixty percent of first marriages end in divorce, sixty to seventy percent of second marriages and seventy to eighty percent of third marriages fail as well.
I've heard that people seem to always marry the "same person" in the 2nd and subsequent marriages. I w*rked with a woman who was on her 3rd alcoholic husband.