Thoughts on moving to 55plus community

[njhowie]

Some good points here. I have also considered that after a few weeks of probing, as soon as they find out I do not have kids, grand kids, or great grand kids I will be essentially ghosted. Most apartment type situations, in fact all of them, I have lived in, nobody knew anybody unless they had a pre-existing relationship. (relatives, worked at the same place etc) I suppose this situation could end up the same. Then I could just partake of whatever "activities" I think might be useful.

As far as you not wanting to know jack diddly about other people's kids, grand kids, and great grand kids - isn't that what friends talk about sometimes, their families?

Yes. I know.

I don't think you'd be ghosted, though you would likely have to periodically listen to talk about their families, as difficult as that might be. Similarly, whatever your hobbies are, or gets you excited, whether they are truly interested, they would be listening to you talk about it, show some interest, and get some level of satisfaction over your happiness in whatever it is that brings you enjoyment - again, because that's how friendships work. Who knows, maybe you'd hook up with someone who is in a similar situation and likewise has no desire to talk about their family?

I believe the model is to keep folks active, involved, and socializing - it's mentally and physically important and so they structure it accordingly.

In mom's scenario, though it was similar to apartment living from the physical layout, with indoor corridors, everyone knew everyone else near them. They all made a concerted effort to become friends with mom. I knew all of her neighbors as they quickly introduced themselves to me when I was moving mom's stuff in (and then again to offer condolences when I was moving her stuff out after she passed), were all outgoing and friendly, and were genuinely interested in getting mom involved. It was very collegial and communal. Now that I think of it, though there was one husband/wife next door to mom, all of the others in mom's wing were women on their own.

It's really good that you did go visit one now to see how they operate and get an idea if it might be a good fit for you in the future. With mom, we didn't have that option. We were flying by the seat of our pants in real time. Our biggest concern was if they had availability at the time we were checking it out. At least in NJ, this has become a very big business - catering to senior living. There are many, many 55+ active living communities being built. There is continually high demand and not enough supply, which is obviously why they are building so much more.

 

[Gotadimple]

Well, when I am at the point where unable to drive I might feel a bit vulnerable riding the subway.

Would Uber, Lyft and ultimately self driving cars not be a solution?

Certainly they can be if you have the finances to afford them.

Another alternative may be the local bus system that provides rides on demand. The cost is the same as the regular bus fare, but you are picked up and dropped off on demand within a set geographic area. In my neighborhood, I see younger folks without a car using this flexible system to get to and from work within the geographic boundaries. The issue for them is the local bus routes don't go near their work places.

 

[njhowie]

Well, when I am at the point where unable to drive I might feel a bit vulnerable riding the subway.

Would Uber, Lyft and ultimately self driving cars not be a solution?

Certainly they can be if you have the finances to afford them.

Another alternative may be the local bus system that provides rides on demand. The cost is the same as the regular bus fare, but you are picked up and dropped off on demand within a set geographic area. In my neighborhood, I see younger folks without a car using this flexible system to get to and from work within the geographic boundaries. The issue for them is the local bus routes don't go near their work places.

I think part of the issue with the (NYC) subway is that for most stations, you cannot count on the elevator/escalator from/to street level being in service, if there is one. So, it can be a bit of effort going down/up the stairs, especially during rush hours. If you are wheelchair bound, or require a walker, it's a big chance you take at each station. I'll always, always offer my seat to anyone who looks like they may need it or asks. When the trains are packed, others are not always very nice. Additionally, security is a bit of an issue with the subway. You generally only have the train driver and one conductor - they cannot assist if something happens in one of the cars where they aren't. Sometimes you have transit police roaming the trains, but it's the exception rather than the rule. On the bus (for example), you have the bus driver right there if anyone causes a problem.

Additionally, with the bus, you've only got a few steps to get on/off, most of the buses can lean/kneel, do have the wheelchair lifts, and the drivers I've seen are always extremely accommodating looking to make things easy for those passengers who require it.

DD lives in the city, doesn't have a drivers license and never learned how to drive. She doesn't even want to learn. She's lived in metropolitan locations since she's been away from home since she was 16, and is extremely comfortable using public transportation in conjunction with Uber/Lyft when the need arises. Even if Uber/Lyft charges come to $100 or $200/month, her total is still much less than the all-in costs of owning/operating/maintaining a car.

 

[Badger]

I have never taken the bus although I may give it a try one day since it is free for seniors in my area. I just have to walk a mile or more to get to the bus stop which may be an issue for me. Maybe other cities/towns have similar senior plans.