I Just Want To Live While I’m Alive

[brett]

We are still traveling in our 70's. We can both easily do 7-9 hour flights. It is the longer ones that are becoming tough. SE Asia/Oz, etc. We now tend towards slow travel.

The one thing that has made travel so much easier for us is switching to carry on only. We only take what we can each physcially handle with ease. This has made our spontaneous travel far more enjoyable.

We do not have to rely on anyone when it comes to baggage. 6-8KG each in 38L wheeled carry ons. I cannot imagine struggling with more than one case or with a heavy case. I do not think we could do it.

Our goal is to stay as healthy, and as active as possible. And to avoid our cold winters.

 

[5Miler]

I believe everyone ages individually so it is somewhat unfair to try to pigeon hole activity levels based so entirely on age. It was a major ordeal to get my mother to travel from Georgia to my sister's in Ohio in her 70's and impossible in her 80's even though it was only 2 hours by air. She was healthy enough, just didn't have the drive to do anything. Eventually COPD took her options away.

I will turn 71 in the next 10 days. Since turning 70 last year DGF and I have been on an 11 day United Kingdom cruise in Sept, a 7 day Caribbean cruise in Dec, another one in Mar and spent 37 days scuba diving in Apr/May. We still enjoy traveling and look forward to our next trip.

We have already booked an Alaska cruise for this Sep, an 11 day Caribbean cruise for Mar and a 34 day scuba diving trip for next Apr/May.

At the end of longer trips we are usually ready to go home but it doesn't take long before we get anxious to head out again. We do make concessions these days and frequently upgrade travel to take the stress out. It's amazing the difference traveling first or business class on long hauls compared to 8 hours or more in coach. Now we actually look forward to the experience. I never thought I would say that as until 4 years ago I only traveled coach unless upgraded in business travel. The first couple of times stung a bit when pressing the purchase button but now we don't even question it.

DGF and I never made over $80K each per year (OK, I did one year), but we saved heavily enjoying a basic middle class life. If we don't enjoy the fruits of our labors now, when will we if ever? My two sons make more than I ever dreamed of making so don't need our assistance. We no longer track our expenses in Quicken very closely but I know we spend under $70K annually which is less than our Social Security these days. That's after all of our travel expenses. Still having trouble wrapping my mind around that. I don't know how to spend our retirement savings as I guess we just don't think grand enough. Curse of the middle class.

 

[brett]

At the end of longer trips we are usually ready to go home but it doesn't take long before we get anxious to head out again.

We are the same. Just home for two weeks and we have shopped/booked two weeks in Mexico. DW now wants to know what we are doing for Sept/Oct.

 

[5Miler]

Just like to add that on our long dive trips, for the past few years we have been going with a 75 year old retired school teacher/trust fund baby from Vermont that we met at the resort years ago. She had had two TKRs, is built like a fire plug and puts us to shame with her energy. We typically are satisfied with two dives a day and lots of pool/beer time afterwards while she will try to do 3 if not 4 dives. I remain amazed at her. She has already booked with us for next year and is somewhat disappointed it is just for 34 days instead of the 37 days this year. Airlines make the rules for us regarding the travel days.

 

[Chuckanut]

Midpack, the solution maybe for you to travel alone at least some of the time. Or find a friend who enjoys travel & has the time & means to join you.

This is anathema (I love that word) for some couples, but others seem to thrive on having some alone adventures.

We have some struggles in that department. I would like long travel trips. DW wants to limit them to at most 3 weeks. We've done one trip where DW flew home & I stayed an additional week hanging out with friends.

There’s no rule that says Mr. Mid pack can’t go a week or two early and then Mrs Midpack joins him for the last few weeks.

 

[Aramis]

Our lives changed in an instant, not for the good. Then the DW cancer scare since then. At 57 she could retire now with health benefits, but reduced pension of 65%. If I manage to get approved for disability, we have already planned on her to pull the plug and we are off and running. We prefer a full story book instead of a full savings account.

OMG - what a way to phrase it.

After planning for retirement for years, I am finding these first few weeks full of conflicting thoughts I did not expect. I know this is not unique but I am getting a little perturbed with myself for landing here when I thought I had it figured out.

 

[ut2sua]

We are the same. Just home for two weeks and we have shopped/booked two weeks in Mexico. DW now wants to know what we are doing for Sept/Oct.

When we got back from a month long trip last May, DW asked if we were willing to go again. The answer was a firm "No" from both of us. Two weeks later, we booked the August trip back to Europe

 

[camfused]

My DW has little interest in travel, for various reasons, including being gluten-free. I, on the other hand, would travel 6 months a year if I could, and have a long list of places to see.

So, we compromise, and take shorter, local-ish trips together. And, I also take a trip by myself (or sometimes with my DD) once or twice a year too. I have convinced her to do a European river cruise in a year or so, since the food is mostly controllable.

I too, a live-long tight-wad, have started doing Economy Plus seats, and may start biting the bullet for business-class seats (for over-nighters). I'll have to close my eyes when I click that Buy button!

 

[ut2sua]

I too, a live-long tight-wad, have started doing Economy Plus seats, and may start biting the bullet for business-class seats (for over-nighters). I'll have to close my eyes when I click that Buy button!

It has always been difficult especially for the one doing the booking (in our case, it is always DW) since everyone wants a good deal. We still don't want to pay full price (main season), but in the shoulder seasons, there are much more reasonable deals for biz. One advantage of being RE. We enjoy mixing biz seats in long flights with coach class seats in shorter flights (It is sort of having multiple flavor in life is better than having a single flavor for us)

 

[marko]

Midpack, the solution maybe for you to travel alone at least some of the time. Or find a friend who enjoys travel & has the time & means to join you.

This is anathema (I love that word) for some couples, but others seem to thrive on having some alone adventures.

We have some struggles in that department. I would like long travel trips. DW wants to limit them to at most 3 weeks. We've done one trip where DW flew home & I stayed an additional week hanging out with friends.

I just love when DW goes away for a week with her girlfriends! More of a vacation for me than it is for her!!

 

[old medic]

We hope to see you in the PNW, @old medic .

We are already talking about a Montana trip next year. Have a family friend in Oregon that plans to meet us there if we get it set up.

 

[Midpack]

Midpack, the solution maybe for you to travel alone at least some of the time. Or find a friend who enjoys travel & has the time & means to join you.

This is anathema (I love that word) for some couples, but others seem to thrive on having some alone adventures.

We have some struggles in that department. I would like long travel trips. DW wants to limit them to at most 3 weeks. We've done one trip where DW flew home & I stayed an additional week hanging out with friends.

DW and I did do quite a few separate trips, as well as some together, when we were both working. I have (retired) friends who travel without their spouse more often than with. But for whatever reason now that we're both retired, neither of us want to travel without the other for anything overnight. OTOH, we do maintain lots of separate activities and associated friends - many days we're off doing our own thing for part or all of a day. We couldn't be closer or more compatible, but I don't think either of us would want to spend 24/7 together. YMMV

 

[Ronstar]

I will be starting to do more solo trips in the near future. DW does not want to go to some of the places and do some of the things that I want to do. Mostly hikes and photo destinations.

I suggested that we do the Dolomites. She said "What's a Dolomite?"

 

[Chuckanut]

DW and I did do quite a few separate trips, as well as some together, when we were both working. I have (retired) friends who travel without their spouse more often than with. But for whatever reason now that we're both retired, neither of us want to travel without the other for anything overnight. OTOH, we do maintain lots of separate activities and associated friends - many days we're off doing our own thing for part or all of a day. We couldn't be closer or more compatible, but I don't think either of us would want to spend 24/7 together. YMMV

You are in a good situation that many of us who are divorced or widowed would love to be in. Adapt, compromise and enjoy being a couple.

 

[brett]

Always wanted a Solara convertable. We can only use it 4 months a year. Once we moved six years from a rental condo to a home w/double garage I spent several months shopping for the 'right' one. One that had never seen a winter on the road. As DW said at the time...why not?

 

[Koolau]

Always wanted a Solara convertable. We can only use it 4 months a year. Once we moved six years from a rental condo to a home w/double garage I spent several months shopping for the 'right' one. One that had never seen a winter on the road. As DW said at the time...why not?

The only convertible I ever owned, we would use it in cooler weather and just turn the heat on!

 

[brett]

I believe that one of the best things that we did on early retirment was to great; simplify our lives.

Major home downsize to a lock and leave environment. No pets, no indoor plants... outside mtce is taken care of.

We consolidated our investments and stopped watching the board every morning to determine if we are up or down.

Very basic now. We do what we want with no strong ties preventing us from doing this or that. Or traveling when we please.

 

[socca]

... I think we should travel more now, stay in nicer hotels, eat at nicer restaurants and enjoy ourselves sooner rather than later. ...

Just wondered if anyone else has been able to get this conversation going with a spouse before it’s too late?

I'm having this conversation with myself right now as my second dear parent dies. The question is whether there is anything I could have done to better enjoy / celebrate the 'good times' (i.e., time of good health) while my dear parent was alive and healthy. My current conclusion is that I just don't know. The items you mention aren't appealing, but was there any opportunity I missed?

 

[Koolau]

I'm having this conversation with myself right now as my second dear parent dies. The question is whether there is anything I could have done to better enjoy / celebrate the 'good times' (i.e., time of good health) while my dear parent was alive and healthy. My current conclusion is that I just don't know. The items you mention aren't appealing, but was there any opportunity I missed?

Regrets don't accomplish anything positive. Learn from mistakes and keep going.

I didn't spend enough time with my dad when he was aging but I learned from that and spent a lot of time with my mom in her last years. I THINK I was a good son to my parents. I made certain they had everything they needed and I was attentive to their wishes and changing situation.

"Do the best you can and never beat yourself up over the past" is my motto. All the best.

 

[Joseph]

I believe that one of the best things that we did on early retirment was to great; simplify our lives.

Major home downsize to a lock and leave environment. No pets, no indoor plants... outside mtce is taken care of.

We consolidated our investments and stopped watching the board every morning to determine if we are up or down.

Very basic now. We do what we want with no strong ties preventing us from doing this or that. Or traveling when we please.

I just love having a dog companion too much. But finding a good person to watch them is important. Boarding costs have become ridiculous. Thinking of doing it myself to recoup some funds

 

[anothercog]

I am feeling ready to travel full time but it's not a reality right now. We still have teenagers and even when the youngest graduates from high school, he'll likely come back from college frequently. There is also aging parents and pets to be responsible for.

I'm working on getting my wife used to the idea of slow travel. I hope to eventually sell everything and be full time nomads. First step is getting my wife to pack lighter on trips. We have a 8 night Europe trip coming up and she seems to be on board with going with just a carry on.

We are still on the young side, 54 and 52, hopefully by the time my youngest is a sophmore in college she'll be more agreeable to taking off for months at time. Then hopefully I can convince her to give up our very expensive home base here in California.

 

[Koolau]

I'm working on getting my wife used to the idea of slow travel. I hope to eventually sell everything and be full time nomads. First step is getting my wife to pack lighter on trips. We have a 8 night Europe trip coming up and she seems to be on board with going with just a carry on.

I really try to travel light, but I'm curious how you take enough clothing for 8 days in Europe in just carry on. I'm willing to wash out clothes in a sink, but most women (heh, heh, like DW) will not want to wear the same couple of outfits for 8 days.

 

[tulak]

It’s a trade off. It’s not hard to pack clothes for a week, but you have to limit shoes and think about layers. I plan on laundry every 7 days and have traveled with carry-on for 6 weeks with no issues.

DGF and her girls have done the same for 2 week trips, so it’s not just a guy thing.

I try to book an Airbnb to make laundry easy, but it’s not hard to find a laundromat. You can start a load and hang out at a cafe. It’s a couple of hours and a good chance to relax.

 

[anothercog]

I really try to travel light, but I'm curious how you take enough clothing for 8 days in Europe in just carry on. I'm willing to wash out clothes in a sink, but most women (heh, heh, like DW) will not want to wear the same couple of outfits for 8 days.

We have watching YouTube videos. It’s definitely easier in the summer as summer clothes are lighter. And we won’t be attending any galas so it should be doable with sightseeing wear.

We will have access to a washing machine so planning to bring 5 days worth of clothes and do laundry on day 4 or 5.

 

[cathy63]

We usually do 3-week trips with two laundry stops. Hiking pants don't take much space and can be worn two or three times between washes; bring enough t-shirts, underwear and socks for a week; one or two sweaters; squishy puffer jacket or packable rain jacket depending on weather; a couple of blouses/shirts for dinners.

The main things that you have to leave behind are extra shoes and large toiletries. Buy sunscreen there and rely on hotel provided shampoo and conditioners.

You also can't bring home lots of big souvenirs, though you can buy an extra duffle bag and check the suitcase on the way home if necessary.